Abstract
I am born as a low-mid income class with a family of 5. I’m the oldest among my siblings and the grace of family’s hope. Well, two families to be exact. My parents and I really don’t get along well. Both of them and the other family members has different views on how should a human live their life. As an Asian, I’m expected to follow the path that they have set for me. I often also get compared to my peers and cousins which has set stone both achievements and failures. I’m not the best in the family nor the worst. I’m just… there.
I’ve been living with this kind of environment for years and I’ve been trying to cope with it. Until one day, I realized that I’ve been following the wrong path all along, based on their idealized expectations and near-perfect delusion, as normal Asian families would do.
I hate it. I really hate it with the burning passion of a million galaxies. I hate how they keep making me feel like I’m a failure. I hate how they keep comparing me to others. I hate how they keep telling me what to do. The spite that has been building up inside me has been growing stronger each and every day. To the point where I can’t take it anymore.
I need to do something about it. I want revenge.
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude is a German word that means “harm-joy”. It is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another. It is a complex emotion that can involve feelings of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction, as well as feelings of envy, resentment, or even hatred. It is often considered to be a negative emotion, as it involves taking pleasure in the misfortune of others.
The joy of seeing someone else fail, the satisfaction of knowing that they are lower than me, the pleasure of watching them suffer. It’s like a drug that I can’t get enough of. It’s like a fire that burns inside me, fueling my desire for revenge. The dark light that guides me through the indecency of life and its adage.
It consumes me. It controls me. It defines me. Realizing my potential through the sheer hatred and dismemberment of my normal self. I am no longer the person I used to be. I am now a monster, a demon, a god of my own creation. The chaos itself.
Harnessing the Power
The power of spite is a double-edged sword. It can be a source of motivation and drive, pushing you to achieve your goals and overcome obstacles. It can give you the strength to stand up for yourself and fight back against those who seek to bring you down. It can be a powerful force for change, driving you to make positive changes in your life and the world around you.
But it can also be a destructive force, consuming you from the inside out and leading you down a dark path of hatred and revenge. It can cloud your judgment and lead you to make decisions that you will later regret. It can poison your relationships and drive away those who care about you.
Well then, how do you harness the power of spite without letting it consume you?
Control. Learn how to control your emotions and channel your anger and hatred into something productive, something positive. Use it as a source of motivation and drive, let it cloud you as a shield against the negativity of the world.
The chaos that you have created within yourself can be tamed. It can be redefined into something beautiful, something powerful, something that you can be proud of. After all, you are the master of your own destiny. Don’t let the darkness consume you. Embrace it. Use it. Become it.
Spite and Revenge
Revenge is a dish best served cold. It is the act of inflicting harm or punishment on someone in retaliation for something they have done to you.
But is it really worth it? Is it worth sacrificing your own happiness and well-being for the sake of revenge? Is it worth becoming the monster that you seek to destroy?
I’d say yes. But not so fast, my friend. A dish served cold isn’t always the best dish to serve. Sometimes, the temperature matters, the texture, the taste, the aroma. Sometimes, revenge is best served hot, fresh, and spicy. Sometimes, revenge is best served with a side of forgiveness.
Forgive but never forget. Forget but never forgive. It’s a paradox that you have to live with. In the end, it’s all about balance. It’s all about knowing when to let go and when to hold on. Embracing the chaos and the order, the light and the dark, the good and the bad.
Make them regret and suffer from the inside. Crush their soul, make them feel the pain that you have felt. Let them know that you are not to be trifled with. Let them know that you are not to be underestimated. Let them… apologize and take back their word. Force them to beg for mercy under your feet. Incite… fear.
The Fear and The Elegy
Fear is a powerful emotion. It can drive people to do things that they never thought possible. It can make them act irrationally, impulsively, and violently. It can cloud their judgment and lead them down a dark path of hatred and revenge. But then, it can also be a source of strength and indomitable will. The stubborness that drives them to the edge of the abyss. The thing that makes them… human.
The fear that you instill in others can be a powerful weapon. It can be used to control them, to manipulate them, to make them do your bidding. The influence that it gives you over them is intoxicating, addictive, and dangerous. It can be a force for good or evil, depending on how you choose to wield it.
The elegy that you sing for them is a song of sorrow, of regret, of loss. It is a lament for the fallen, a requiem for the damned, a dirge for the lost. It is a melody of pain, of suffering, of despair. It is a symphony of death, of destruction, of chaos. It is a song that echoes through the path of your life, guiding you through the darkness and the light.
Fear is a potent weapon. Use it wisely. Use it sparingly. Use it with caution. Use it with care. Use it with… love.
Love and Hate
Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. They are two emotions that are intertwined, inseparable, and indistinguishable. They are the yin and yang of the human experience, the light and the dark, the good and the bad.
The power that emanates from love and hate is immense. It can move mountains, part seas, and change the course of history. It can be a force for creation and destruction, for life and death, for order and chaos.
The restless heart that beats within you is a testament to the power of love and hatred. The passion and the fury that drives you forward, the enchanted melody that guides you through the storm.
To think as if love and hate are two separate entities is a folly. I saw people doing that and I laughed. I mean really, how can you ignore one and embrace the other? It’s like saying you can’t have both a car and a bike at the same time. “Love yourself”? What a wonderful preposition to destroy the balance and slumbers you into illusion that you’re perfect the way you are. You need to hate yourself to become better, to change.
Kill your old self as many times as you want until you’re satisfied with the new you. The new you that you’ve been dreaming of. But I doubt that would end with the word “enough”. It’s a never-ending cycle of self-improvement and self-destruction. It’s a never-ending cycle that sparks… greed.
The Sin of Avarice
Greed is a sin. It is the desire for material wealth or gain, often at the expense of others. It is a selfish and destructive emotion that can lead people to commit terrible acts in pursuit of their desires.
However, greed is what fuels the world. It is what drives people to achieve greatness, to build empires, to conquer nations. It is a force for creation and destruction, for life and death, for order and chaos. Harness it, control it, and you will become unstoppable.
Rest assured, as any emotions of trying to improve yourself is a form of greed, no matter the way you look at it. You want to be better than what you were. Your past is a mere shadow of you. The greatness that is right in front of you are never enough. You want more. You need more.
The entropy that you’ve fueled. The feeling that you are never satisfied with what you have. The desire to be the best, to be the greatest, to be the one that everyone looks up to.
It’s addicting. It’s… human.
Epilogue
This article is made for you out of spite. Why don’t everyone just know this knowledge and use it to their advantage? Why don’t everyone just embrace the dark side of themselves and become the monster that they’ve always wanted to be? Why don’t everyone just… be themselves?
The power of spite is within you now and forever. It is a part of you, use it for your own good.